When the relationship with money becomes unhealthy: money as the only self -affirmation
In an era where the ostentation of wealth goes hand in hand with success and seems the only way to realize, here’s how the boys react to the value of money. How to understand if there is a problem
There was never a lot of talk about money and money as now, especially on social.
At one time it was almost a taboo topic or of which it was ashamed (in one sense or another), while theostentation Today’s riches and earnings rhymes with the « successful » images that circulate on the net.
Money, however, is also a topic deeply emotionalfull of psychological meanings and atavistic beliefs, well beyond a simple necessity.
In what relationship they are, in the era of prevailing social networks, The money and self -value? How do young people consider money? What is the answer to the ancient question: « Do money buy happiness?».
And above all, when the relationship with money becomes unhealthy or pathological?
We asked him to Giancarlo Cerveripsychiatrist and psychotherapist, member of the Executive Council of the Italian Society of Psychiatry.
The money: tool or target?
«Let’s start from the answer to the question about happiness: it all depends on how the money is conceived -observes the expert -: it is one instrumentwhich therefore retains the function for which it was born, or instead became a objective? »
Some scientists (including the Nobel Prize Daniel Kahneman) tried to understand if the money could « buy » happiness and, if necessary, how much money they needed.
«It has been found that in some cases a curve called » a plateau « prevails, that is, money improves the level of satisfaction up to a certain pointbeyond which the increase in profit tends not to produce a further increase in the level of satisfaction. It would be said that you are happy until the money is truly a tool for something, the reason why it was born. The flattening of the curve is exceeded, in fact, when the money money becomes an objective: to understand each other, if you earn 50 you are happy at 50, but if you earn 1,000 you will be happy at 2,000, if you earn 5,000 you will be happy only to 50,000. It no longer counts what the money buys, but Only the money itself « .
Personal success
The money that flaunt and accumulate go hand in hand with the stories defined as « successful » on social networks that have as their protagonists even very young.
What models are for the boyswhat message does this conception of money conveys?
« That success is measured with money and that only the money leads to happiness -replies the specialist -. Not only that: Self -value is measured in cash. The protagonists of the social networks are often people who they have no talents Or quality, but show all their value with what they earn. And this is the mechanism that many teenagers want to replicate ».
“All this risks becoming particularly challenger for the individualwhich is urged to find a path that allows him to achieve success: any life, work or intermediate solution can only be considered a failure, because any « ordinary » work will be fatally without success, that is, invisiblebecause on social networks who is not successful is not there and this provokes in the boys a cognitive distortion on what is reality».
Opposite models: work and ideas
An important educational challenge for parents who come from the educated generation to the ethics of work: «When the value of the person is given by the ability to create a media consensus and therefore to earn money, it is certainly difficult to explain the value of the Work as an element of personal growth e structuring of one’s identity « confirms the psychiatrist.
And he adds: «In the past the success models passed from knowing how to do to knowing how to carry on the own ideas Even at the cost of a personal sacrifice (think of the partisans) ».
Problematic relationships with money
The transition from money as a tool to buy objects (or time) to Money as a life objective risks opening the doors to a unhealthy relationship with money which can result in ludopathiesin behavior risky or illegal and sometimes in real pathological syndromes.
How to recognize When there is a problem With the conception of money?
« There are some recognizable features which can report a relationship unhealthy (or pathological) With money -explains Cerveri -. The unhealthy relationship is recognized from the tension to the profit, from the use of money excessively, from exposing itself to economic difficulties not in tune with the real financial availability. Also give greater importance to the pleasure of acquiring money with respect to the pain linked to a possible loss represents an unhealthy mode: typically, in fact, it is the gambler who feels a huge pleasure in gain and a tiny suffering in loss. Generally people who live an ordinary relationship with money « work » on the contrary: they suffer more if they lose € 1,500 rather than they earn 1,500. It represents a prudent approach with life ».
“Also consider money only as a goal (We mentioned it before, editor’s note) is « unhealthy » and can lead to others distortions: Like that of wanting to achieve the purpose by any means, even illicit. Then there are relationships with the most exquisitely psychopathological money, based on a narcissistic vision of things, for example the idea of having a « Right to money » which is independent of the element of reality or the obsession with the accumulation without a real purpose », concludes the expert.
