When does the rush touch free will? « If her eyes are at half past six, I stop flirting »
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Since 2022, the new sexual criminal law in our country defines in which circumstances a person cannot give permission for sex. Being under the influence that the free will is affected is one of them. Yet last week a Ghent judge ruled that « having drunk sex is not necessarily punishable ».
Grooverant The standard asked three young people what their experiences are while going out. Have they experienced cross -border behavior themselves? Have they become more careful in flirting? Do they deal with alcohol differently? And has thinking about consent changed?
Alejandra Brans (19): « I don’t understand that perpetrators are not convicted »
Alejandra Brans. – © Jef van den Bossche
« I could barely stand on my legs. He said I could sleep with him and get a separate room. I could no longer find my girlfriend and thought it would be safer to spend the night with him, because I knew him a little. When I woke up, I was naked. »
Since then, Alejandra Brans has not been going out that often and she hardly drinks alcohol anymore. « It’s not worth it, » says the KU Leuven student. Brans still does not know what happened and that morning she did not dare to speak to him. « Maybe I had looked for it myself, I thought. My feelings are double: I am still ashamed that something like that happened to me and at the same time I am sorry that I did not go to the police. But I was also afraid that he would put me on if I would submit a complaint. »
“The rape cases that appear in the media, I don’t look up. So many people experience this. I don’t understand that the perpetrators are not convicted or not get punished. road is or not. And if that is the case, your first instinct must be to help that person, not to abuse the situation. ”
Alex Lauwers (27): « I have become much more careful in recent years »
Alex Lauwers. – © Jef van den Bossche
Alex Lauwers stopped drinking alcohol seven years ago. On the dance floor or on a café, he tries to decide for both himself and for his friends or the women with whom they are flirting or not. « It is haunting my head. I have become much more careful in recent years. Are her eyes at half past six when she speaks with me? If I want to hug her, she grabs next to me? Then I stop flirting. »
« Because I am always sober, I am afraid that I can end up in a situation where my soberness can be used against me. Especially when I look at the new sexual criminal law: I will not end up in a situation where we are both fed up. I will be the sober person who should have made the right estimate. »
Read too. Affiling decision in rape case gets a tail: student again in court
That is not easy in reality, says Lauwers. « After an evening out I wanted to drop off a woman at home. She not only dared to go home because she had been harassed earlier in the evening. She asked if I wanted to sleep. That was not my plan, but I did because I had to pee. »
« When I was done, she no longer had her clothes on. I suggested to meet my cell phone number and I left my cell phone number, but she was so convincing that I really wanted it. In the morning I received a message from her in which she said she wasn’t feeling well. I was very shocked when I read that, all the more.” ””
« I apologized and thanked her for talking to me about that. I also told her that I hoped that this would have no further consequences and that I certainly wanted to meet her for a coffee to talk to it. She said she felt dirty. I felt very strange about it. I would rather get a GAS-FOTE than I still use the toilet.”
Victoria Bozzi (21): « You can afterwards ask yourself whether there was any doubt or not. I didn’t ask myself about it then »
Victoria Bozzi. – © Jef van den Bossche
An incident from a few years ago Psychology Student made Victoria Bozzi thinking. « We were very drunk when we met, the first time we saw each other back for a long time. No permission was requested or given that evening on both sides. »
« You can ask yourself afterwards whether there was doubt or not. But the evening itself I have not asked myself any questions. If you are fed up, you think less and you are more impulsive. That makes you vulnerable. And if it is someone you know a little, it will be even more complex. But the next day we spoke to each other. »
Read too. Lawyer Manon Cop about rape case: « frightening how many people want to nag him so badly »
« It is awkward to pronounce at the moment itself, but if you give explicit permission, you will save a lot of misery afterwards. I am now more consciously involved. Certainly because of the stories that the media have achieved. »
« If you don’t feel comfortable with it afterwards and you want to share, with friends or by submitting a complaint, it will always be looked at whether alcohol was involved. And if it is, then people will attach less value to your story. I also deal with alcohol more consciously. Even more than the hangover the next day, I am worried about my condition that someone could abuse. »
