This is how secrets affect our soul

The secrets shape not only our relationships but also our souls. They have a deep impact on our lives. The question is, how do we handle them: we carry it as a burden or see the opportunity for development? Certainly the world of secrets will never be boring – and maybe that’s what gives its magic.

• Slide is often done to avoid conflicts and maintain a certain self -image.

• The thoughts associated with secrets can be energy suckers, while active silence is less stressful.

• Sharing a secret with a reliable person can have beneficial effects for both parties.

Secrets have always been a special place in human relationships. As a child, they seemed exciting, but as an adult we often experience them as a burden. Michael Slepian, a psychology professor at Columbia Business School, has done a comprehensive research on the nature of the secrets and concluded that these hidden truths have a much deeper effect on us than we think.

Price of Secrets: We feel bad

According to research, people are most often with their sex life, with their relationship problems and they secretly hide on their lies – writes the Brigitte.de. These secrets can come to the fore in two ways: either during a particular situation or conversation or completely unexpectedly when our minds are wandering. The latter can be particularly burdensome, as the secret breaks into our thoughts for no visible reason and almost sucks our energy.

The more often we think of our secrets, the worse we feel. A sense of shame, unrejusticity, solitude – These are all common consequences. Interestingly, however stressful. In this case, our attention is aimed at dealing with the specific situation, not our emotions.

That’s why we keep the secrets

Most people are secretive to avoid conflicts, protect themselves from vulnerability, or maintain a certain picture of themselves. Every secret has a purpose that makes sense from the perspective of that person. However, the secrets affect not only the individual but also the relationships. In healthy relationships, there is less frequent secrets, while this is a common phenomenon in problematic relationships.

This is how we handle secrets

One way to handle secrets is to examine our emotional motivations. Why are we ashamed of our thoughts or needs? What are we afraid of finding our secret? These questions can help us to better understand ourselves and even dissolve the our internal conflicts.

Interestingly, sharing secrets can also have a positive effect on us. If you share your secret with a person you do not directly touch, it may be beneficial to both parties. The confidential person feels esteemed while the person who shares the secret experiences relief.

The magic of secrets can be a burden and a gift

Although the secrets are often heavy on us, they have something magical. As a child, we may have felt better this magic, but as an adult it is worth considering what our secrets teach us. These hidden truths may help us better understand ourselves and our relationships.