‘Third parent’: Why are the aunt’s important in children’s lives – BBC News in Serbian
Rolling French Rred color, sewing machine and a pumper hot gibanice.
These are my associations every time I think of aunt’s lel.
That image is inevitably accompanies the question: « Lamb My, How are you? »
I often wondered where there was so much patience to listen regularly, mostly, the clinical dilemmas and answer the Siaet questions that I ask her with warmth.
A few years ago, I became aunt and got the desired answer.
Whenever my brethran, also tells me clearly, for me that magical word, I stop all the activities and I’m ready to take him to the moon.
Not to speak that I can drive cars around the room for hours with him.
The aunces encourage children’s development in different ways, but most carefree love and direct behavior, because they do not have parental responsibility or panic, Mary Stojković, children’s psychologist.
« Aunts can be childish, not acting strict and use other methods to reach the child in relation to their parents.
« That’s why kids, especially girls, believe during puberty, because parents become a ‘enemy’, and then they need a support, » she explains for the BBC in Serbian.
Love, confidence and joy of the aunt are immeasurable and they are irreplaceable figures.
« The aunt’s friends are a child’s soul, » Stojkovic adds, which is aunt’s 17-year-old girls itself.
Aunt’s painter
« If you want to get to know me better, meet my two aunts, » said Lana Petrovic with new friends when she went to college.
« They must have influenced me more than my parents.
« This testifies to this from the diary from my mom who followed me in growing up: She is five years old and is happy when she spends time with dawns « , quotes this 28-year-old word written.
Her first memories are related to the voice of aunt’s saying, brushes and colors, which smelled aunt, then a small improvised house studio and to indescribable joy when they need to do something together.
« It was enough to show up on some small children’s event, making handles made of mud, sling, sewing clothes for dolls and I would feel like it was a holiday.
« I’m long, when I ask me what I will be, proudly answered – ‘a painter, like my aunt, » says Lana.
The talent was absent, but not the love for the art she succeeded from her – and she was indebted to it immensely.
‘You are the most beautiful and best’
In the same yard, in addition to say, Lana’s second aunt lived – Snowse.
The bead curtains that rattle, large gold earrings and cigarettes mean only one – that Lana ran away from their parents again and came to snow.
« Long live freedom!
« There was loud music allowed for some swear and sip of a coffee without fear that it would rise the tail« He recalls.
She would take her on her lap and talked for hours of the fictitious scenario in which Lana, then a girl, enjoyed.
« I become the Miss World while she applies to me in the audience.
« We are secret agents on a task or ride in a camp through Arizona, » he speaks with enthusiasm and after so many years.
In almost all photos of childhood, Lana is in Leopard Print with fake cigarettes – a crayon or twig in her hand, on the pattern on the aunt’s snow.
« You are the most beautiful and best, » he told me whenever I cry or sad, « Lana remembers.
And today her aunt snail tells her the same.
« Or I repeat this mantra in myself that encourages himself immediately and raises confidence when life goes wrong, » says this 28-year-old.
Tetac support during growing up, especially in girls, is very precious, because they are « pillar of their mental health, » Steve Bidlf, is hard, Psychiatrist and author of the book Ten things needed by girls.
Many research They show that children who spend times with tights are not prone to depression and anxiety, are already safer in themselves.
This relationship is effective in the other direction.
Aunts, which at least once a week spend time with their nephews, were significantly more relaxed and relieved, indicate numerous studies.
‘Special kind of love’
Jelena Jovanovic did not have that support and secretly envious of all friends who proudly booted advisors and joint adventures with tights.
That is why one of the most beautiful days in her life was when she found out her sister was pregnant.
« I think I was more excited than her.
« The baby wasn’t even born, and I already had a package package, » excited and after so many years.
When Jelena saw her niece through the window pane in the maternity hospital, she cried.
« I can’t explain how much it was a whirlpool emotions in me – love at first sight.
« I remember that the nurses subtly kicked me subtly, because the time of the visit ended, » he adds.
She didn’t want to miss a moment and whenever she could spend time with her sister.
« It seems to me that sometimes I exaggerate a little bit, although my Mesimica says I can be strict, but it is known when something is messing at school, » says this 35-year-old.
In the meantime, Jelena became a mother, but it did not diminish its attachment to Mary.
They still have their joint activities, such as going to the theater or cinema.
In the deer’s desk next to photographs, her children and Mary’s framed picture.
The RAM was hand-made, and on the rims is engraved: The best aunt in the world, my aunt.
« It’s a special kind of love, » she said.
‘Other mother’
The aunties are in literary works throughout the centuries illustrated as caring, patient, always available and full understandings.
Women who carefully care about nieces and symbolically bear the title of « other mother ».
However, in academic research, their role often neglected, indicate Sociolosis of Vanes May from the University of Manchester and Cineret Lahad from the University of Tel Aviv.
Unlike the « strict roles and expectations » imposed by mothers, the aunts have that freedom to solve problems with children in the imaginative way, He wrote before BBC.
« They still don’t respect as much as they deserve for everything they represent in our lives, » Patrica Sotirin, claims, Author of two books On the role of tetaca in culture and society.
In recent years, there are more and more women who do not have their own children, but the role of the mother are compensated for aunt’s title.
They often describe them as women facing careers that do not have time for the family, and in fact, all the opposite, indicates Melani Notod, which has been dealt with the last 20 years By the role of tetaca In modern society.
« They are not cold and are much more ready to share money and time with children or sisters, » her conclusion is.
‘Well you are my child’
Aunt Lela continues to patiently listen to my events, impressions with concerts and endless ideas on travel.
I still wear a navyged jacket that you sashed when I enrolled in studies.
It was the first jacket I put in my life.
When I rented an apartment after the end of my studies, it brought me in a round of needle, thread and buttons.
Each her arrival means we will buy minced coffee and empty burek that day, and that we will spend the rest of the time in the park.
Aunt’s apartment exudes warmth from the moment you step into it.
In the living room, in addition to a handful of photographs of her grandchildren and children is a pillow with a message – the best aunt in the world.
A sewing machine is in the corner, and next to the bed crossed words and books.
Close friends tell me that I remind me more, because it doesn’t keep me a place and I’m always ready for a new action.
Those words, I admit, go.
Whenever I visit it, a warm gibanica is already on the table, in a tiny bowl, angry ajvar, waiting for me with napkins and wet wipes to find my way and a strong hug.
On each of my thanks, it is ready to match:
« There are no thanks among us, so you are my child. »
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