The difficulty and importance of being alone

Not all we can get or like to be alone. Because being alone is talking to our buttons’. It is heard in the silence of our thoughts, the good thoughts, but also of those we would like to move away. Remember the most difficult things that would make us a lot to forget. It is not always easy to hear what we have to say. Dialogue is not always simple, peaceful or encouraging. And that’s why we sometimes meet a multitude of things and indeterminately postpone a meeting with us. We turned on the radio, we lit the television, looked at the mobile phone.

In times that run the dialogue is increasingly smaller. Technologies are constantly in contact with others, games, videos, whatever. Even in situations where the inner meeting would be inevitable, as on the way to school, the meals we make alone or in the bath. Sometimes we seem that we don’t even know what we are looking for in that small luminous device, but we stay there expecting anything that distracts us from ourselves.

It’s like a half life, permeable to everything that comes from outside and closed to what you could find and discover inside.

It is risky to live in this limbo, where you are not really alone or truly accompanied. Where the thought and inner dialogue are scarce. Especially when growing up.

It is in this increasingly tiny inner world that inhabit memories, fantasies, desires, fears, weaknesses and feelings. It is in it that self -knowledge is generated, conscious decision making and emotional regulation. And also creativity and introspection.

Thinking is a thoughtful way of dealing with aggressiveness and desire. When we cannot-or we should not-act on an impulse, we can think and transform it. That is, thinking can be a way of channeling and transforming impulses not only sensible, but creative, productive or acceptable. That is precisely what we feel that young people (and not only) have more and more difficulty doing. They often act hastily, revealing little ability to stop, think and reflect. For example, when someone says or does something that Melinde them, many react impulsively. As if internal resources have been extinguished in this kind of blackout or inner falling.

But there are a number of simple behaviors that can help us meet again and revive our inner world. In addition to reducing the automatic use of the mobile phone, removing the constant notifications, we can oblige us to have moments turned off from the screens. We get used to reading more, with pleasure and hurry, to write a diary, notes or thoughts, openly relate to others, without interruptions or crutches. And not escape to boredom. Accept it and enjoy it. Do not face these moments as a waste or a target to slaughter, but as rich moments of growth, reflection and elaboration. Not ignoring fantasies, desires, anguish, and memories, but on the contrary, we let us slowly entangle this universe. Pampering what we have more and more precious and that allows us to be more whole, balanced and sensible people in an increasingly superficial, runaway and reactive world.