Strategy exam-Diepresse.com
Thomas Pisar – satirical – about leadership and led. Season 2/episode 1.
It is time again. Once a year, the entire board of Woodgood AG and its direct employees meet for the strategy exam. 27 so -called Direct Reports – from the Director of Sales
Several hundred employees up to the equality officer without employees. Everyone is equally important. And that’s a good thing.
The venue is an expensive thermal hotel with a top wine selection and wellness oasis in a prime location. The moderator is flown in from Spain-the high priestess of the following strategy trade fair. You let something cost. You can’t find one like that in Austria. Not with such a personable accent. A moderator and five ladies entourage. They are important to distribute post-its, to move pin boards and to point felt pens. During the breaks, one of the flown ladies has to turn on the sprinkling music. That has quality. You can’t do that with your own people. The playlist has been put together specifically.
The board always travels in the morning to finalize the agenda with the moderation priestess and to determine the strategically important points for the exam. Strategy is not discussed in terms of content – it has looked the same for many years. What should be doing in the wooden industry? In the meantime, the Spanish ladies pretend hectic activity to justify the fee.
In the afternoon, the 27 Direct Reports arrive individually. Some daring are already there for lunch and swap the wellness area for important company topics. Mostly about colleagues who are not there. Women are never there. That makes it easier. You have to be allowed to say that.
A notice:
Guest comments and contributions from external authors like this here do not have to correspond to the opinion of the editorial team.
The high office begins at 4:00 p.m. Another external keynote speaker is invited every year, who motivates the troop to the following event. You let something cost. As a rule, these are ex-ski racers, ex-triathlon winners, extreme air holders, female ex-footballers or ex-female ex-footballers. In any case, nobody from the subject. The motivation input lasts thirty minutes. After that, everyone leaves the room euphoric. The hype stops until dinner dinner. The motivation messages (« be brave », « be consistent », « go your way ») are discussed in a suggestion. This is how you have to stop – then it also works with the jump from the Baumgartnerhöhe. At the bar, the effect has already been faded, after which the third long drink fizzles out at company costs. The motivation inlet mixes alcohol – alcohol always wins. You turn to the sauna math again. Some tirelessly – always the same ones – hold through to the delight of the Barmann until 2:42 a.m. and then stagger into the hotel room. Individually, because for everything else you are already a lot
too old.
The next day there is a run for the over -motivated and the overnighters. Fear, alcohol and testosterone is steamed out. Nobody gets slower. Then prefer a back wall infarction – it just goes through as an excuse.
Breakfast. Everyone tries to look as fresh as possible. The nerds answer the board of directors at the private iPad. One underlines your own independence.
At 9:00 a.m., the high priestess of the south heralds the actual event. Actually with a cowbell. Original Spanish cow bell. Many are already so ramponed that they only think of driving home. There is the classic exercise to get started: How am I there (by car, as usual)? What can I hold away from my 100 % contribution (seven gin tonic from the bar yesterday)? What would I like to take with me so that it was a success for me (maybe the hotel’s bathrobe)?
The CEO deteriorates a few speech pearls that are paved, the depth of penetration is like a cotton ball on reinforced concrete. The first have difficulty keeping your eyes open.
This is followed by a content on the subject of leadership in the Vuca world, with subsequent practice, which this means for everyone. Vuca and wood – old Swede. Please write the results easily on post-its so that they can be grouped. Four pin boards are full. After nailing the third post-IT on the wall with a needle that is far too small, your fingers hurt. Unfortunately, the post-itss do not keep themselves. The Spanish ladies are desperate. The morning is around. Fortunately, there were already cakes during a break. The sugar helps with survival. Calorie intake so far: 4,500 calories.
Lunch with buffet, i.e. starter salad with too much dressing, liver dumpling soup, fish with rice, meat with pasta, five little tartlets, coffee. The fun activation game with homeopathic movements – because you don’t want to overwhelm the bodies – has no chance against goulashes. This is followed by an outlook on the strategy, presented by the individual board members. Everyone can go. In the last row, the marketing director drool to his light blue shirt while sleeping. With the not completely new knowledge, the next post-itss are smeared. This time as a group work. The groups are put together by colored notes that are on the underside of the armchair. In addition to a few old chewing gum. The next question: What do we derive from the strategy for us as a “a team”? Nobody asks how a team of 27 people can exist plus board team. In the end, another four pin boards are glued.
Break with cakes and small rolls. This is followed by feedback and whether the expectations were met or which points have remained open. Nobody cares that – most of all those who ask.
For the final, the armchairs are laboriously arranged in a circle by the ladies. You lose valuable fifteen minutes that you could have already used privately. Everyone can still have a word (but really only a Word, please) to the event. Double races allowed. Wonderful.
The fair is read 80,000 euros and 8,000 calories per person later. The blessing was spoken. The ladies dispose of the post-its from the pin boards in no time. Only the effect of one and a half days smokes faster. What remains is the sagging hotel bathrobe – and
Three days of bad digestion.
Review? What do you do to
to continue to pursue the results of the exam in the operational company and
To actually solidify change?
Feel free to leave us your questions, thoughts
And comments on this in the comments or in a personal email. We
look forward to it.
Learning
The story is of course a satire and exaggerated. Nevertheless, there are a few learning:
- A strategy exam, which only deals with the praying prayer of the existing strategy, will not lead to any change. In this specific case of Woodgood AG, no change is also necessary. The child, i.e. the event, needs a name-strategy exam.
- Annual ceremonies like this have their value at the meeting and in the informal exchange of all managers who never takes place in everyday operational life.
- Staging with external Chichi moderation, motivational keynote speakers and an expensive location are exaggerated. However, the gesture lifts the status of the event and transports in the sub-text: you are important to us.
- The event creates a stage of self -expression of the Direct Reports in front of the board members, which is often perceived. Here you can demonstrate operational and performance willingness, at breakfast, while running, on the pin wall.
- At the bar and the other unofficial occasions, the same people are usually grouped, which is a hindrance to the exchange.
- Group work, post-its and pin walls are mandatory, but the results from it are rarely continued consistently. In the best case, manifest a slogan that appears here and there again and there, but creates little or no effect (see Pisar study #4 Mindset Change).
- Feedback is mandatory, but in truth is not really interested.
How do your strategy exams exams? Have you been of the opinion that it was more likely to be in a trade fair instead of being in the development of content?
Do you actually develop relevant content in your exams, which you initiate as a manager yourself?
What do you do to continue to pursue the results of the exam in operational operation and actually solidify?
Feel free to leave us your questions, thoughts and comments in the comments or in a personal email.
« /> Thomas Pisar, a doctorate in physicists, who worked as a manager at A1 for many years, keynote speaker and consultant for change and transformation, tells a short case study every week, similar to how it actually happened, presents Learnings and asks questions about further thinking.
