Simple steps to a happy relationship

Although many believe that their problems are unique, they are often reflected in common, common truths, says Eglė Kislovski, a lecturer in the Lithuanian Health Care Union, organizer of camps for children, teens and families and shares insights on how to build a happy relationship.

To name the duties

In a relationship, it is very important to clearly discuss what both duties are. Not what they imagine, but in reality, for what everyone is responsible.

It does not have to be associated with hierarchy – above or below, older or younger. This is simply an agreement on the division of responsibilities. When everything is clearly named, it is easier to communicate and decreases misunderstandings.

Often conflicts arise from unspoken expectations – we hope the other will understand by itself. However, if we do not talk, it becomes a source of disagreement. People are unable to read thoughts, so you should not expect it.

More effectively: E. Kislovski reminds us that only through respect, patience and personal growth can we encourage another to change. / Photo by E. Kislovski Personal Archive

To develop patience

One fifth of couples are distinguished by the birth of a child in the first year. This is because many people are not going to the birth of a child. They do not fully understand what a child is, what their duties are as parents, what challenges and great fatigue will have to face.

Sleeping nights, moms experienced tension begin – all of which require a man’s great patience, understanding of what is happening to a woman. It is important for karat and a woman to understand their role, the changes that motherhood brings. When both understand what awaits them and what challenges can arise in the first year, they become much easier to overcome ..

To accept each other

A lot of people think that the phase of falling in love must not end and the new partner is being sought, corresponding to a person invented in their dreams. However, this is simply an illusion. People are imperfect and certainly not fully compatible with others, so we need to learn how to adapt.

It is impossible to avoid challenges in a relationship because each person is different. The question of whether we will move together or let them exclude us.

In a relationship, it is important not only to express your needs, but also to know another person – to accept his or her identity and be prepared to try to try for a relationship.

There is a tendency for young people to see that if someone does not like, the relationship is quickly interrupted and another partner is sought. But it leads to endless anxiety and jumps from one situation to another, until the question begins to arise as to why I still fail. And this is a great time to start delving into yourself, your behavior in a relationship to understand what is really happening.

Overcome the challenges

Our relationship with my husband started with joint trips and volunteering – we deliberately found ourselves in awkward situations where the real person reveals.

We traveled, slept only a few hours a day, swim in cold rivers, were in fatigue and tension. It helped to see each other in real light, how we react, help, care.

We deliberately maintained a respectful distance so that the passion would not overshadow real vision, and sought to build a relationship based on heart, not just emotions. It was important for us to know each other deeper.

Challenges in relationships are inevitable – they will always be because people are different. The question of whether we will move together or let them exclude us.

To respond to needs

The difference between me and my husband is the speed of thinking: I am fast, he is slower. I want solutions here and now, and he does everything calmly. It causes friction, but we learn to accept each other as we are, and we pay attention to what really lies behind the details.

For example, a simple conflict over an uninhabited chair or an unstoppable cup can actually mean an unspoken need, such as a desire to spend more time together.

When we work a lot, the time we start to get tired, and then friction occurs. For one, we seem to be together all day, and for the other that there is a lack of real connection, conversations, walks, without tasks. Then the most important thing is to hear each other, to respond to needs.

Show an example

Although not only women seek to improve and try to improve, they are more likely to take the initiative to change. However, it becomes difficult when the partner is completely not going to move in the same direction. What do you do then?

Relationships often start with general joy and lightness. But over time, values ​​change – one side can begin to seek deeper meaning, want to change lifestyle, and the other may not be ready for it. In this case, the key is to set an example, not to blame.

Only through respect, patience and personal growth can we encourage another. For example, if a woman starts exercising, is more concerned with herself and becomes happier, the man sooner or later notices it. The language of reproaches does not work. Therefore, sometimes you need a creative approach. For example, when a partner or partner does not want to go to the camp, you can suggest, « Let’s go together, you don’t have to participate in the program, but let’s be together, let’s rest. » The key is not to press, but to invite.