Author of the book « Loyalty. Conflict between trust and desire », in simple words, explains whether you should confess to betrayal. It depends on the situation. A one -time side jump after alcohol? It's best to keep it for yourself. According to an expert, romance is always a blow to a partner. – Instead, it is more sensible to say about betrayal to your best friend, priest, psychologist – advises Krüger.
– It depends on the romance! If the betrayal occurred under the influence of alcohol during the holidays and it was only once, then you should not admit – Dr. Wolfgang Krüger has a clear opinion on this subject. Romance always hurts and worries a partner.
« During the year, two -thirds of partners are parting because they can not rely on each other. Instead, it is more sensible to say about betrayal to your best friend, priest, psychologist, not to offend your partner infidelity, and then expect you to relieve you. »
The effect is hours of talks, screams and tormenting questions. How do you know him? What does he have what I don't have? Was he better in bed? How exactly did it happen?
Romance: Look for causes
Over time, these conversations become exhausting and do not contribute to the development of relationships. Instead, the expert recommends asking the question: why did this affair occurred at all?
The cause of infidelity is often alienation in a relationship. Instead of blaming and condemned each other, it is important to find out what makes both partners feel satisfied and involved.
In a study published in the journal Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy « respondents gave the reason for their infidelity. A surprising result shows that the actual reason is almost never sexual desire. It was only in 7th place, and even then 86.7 percent. The participants of the study found that they were primarily wanted to kisses.
The three most important reasons are:
Fury
Increasing self -esteem
Lack of love
When should you confess to betrayal?
If you perceive your betrayal as an opportunity to change something in a relationship, it is a good idea to admit it. This is especially useful in the case of romances that last for a long time. Take infidelity as a kind of motive for changing certain aspects in the relationship.
« Especially women are unable to endure this double life for a long time and decide to reveal betrayal at the latest during the year, » says Dr. Krüger.
In turn, men are often big fans of maintaining both romance and partnerships and can do it endlessly. Finally 63 percent Men do not keep faithfulness.
Fotolia
« Betrayal does not necessarily mean an end. » How can an affair save a relationship?
Romance does not always mean the end
It does not matter if the affair will come out accidentally, or whether you decide to talk openly with your partner.
Betrayal does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. Especially when both partners are aware that they made mistakes.
Romance, although painful, does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. For many couples, it becomes a turning point, a warning signal that something needs to be changed. According to dr. Krüger can also be announced to the external world: « We make a new attempt and try again. » It is crucial to understand the causes of infidelity and work on the relationship.
Confess treason? The decision belongs to you
There is no one universal answer to the question whether to confess to betrayal. This is a decision that depends on your situation, the nature of the relationship and the desire to fight for the relationship. Remember, however, that each intention has its consequences – both honesty and silence. It is worth considering what is most important to you and your relationship. After all, true love is not only avoiding mistakes, but also the ability to forgive and re -build.
The article was based on the translation of the text from Bild.de.
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