Petri Rouwenhorst (1973-2025) believed that her body would fight the cancer herself

When Addy Rouwenhorst found his sister Petri, she was sick in an old caravan. Six hectares of land with an uninhabitable house on it. Her clothes swabbed her body.

A year earlier, Petri had left for Portugal. She had just received ‘the diagnosis’ as she would continue to call her illness. It was: breast cancer, no metastases. The doctor proposed a treatment plan, including chemotherapy. Petri refused. Her body, she said, started to solve this herself.

The outside world calls that alternative medicine, but it was very common for Petri. During her many travels, including Brazil, Sri Lanka and China, she had seen that there was more between heaven and earth. Moreover, after years of searching, she had bought a piece of land with an old house on it – she didn’t just let herself decrease.

Petri’s refusal was more than remarkable. In the years before, she had worked for various public campaigns on cancer: during the court case against the tobacco industry, brought by, among others, pulmonologist Wanda De Kanter, for patient association Long Cancer Netherlands and for the informative website ‘Cancer does a lot with you’, about non-medical care to patients and their loved ones.

Now she had cancer herself and she ignored all the advice.

It was the doctor, she said. He wanted to determine her agenda, said she would take over her life. A friend who was present at the conversation would later say that those words were not used at all, but the narrative was in Petri’s head – and nobody would get it out of it.

Wanda de Kanter sees it more often: university -trained people who refuse chemotherapy. Then a doctor will do everything, she says, to see the patient again at a different time, and then to consult again, also about a less heavy treatment. « But Petri just disappeared from the picture. »

Petri, in the words of brother Addy, a « walking encyclopedia in the field of medicinal and alternative cancer treatments, » nothing was said. Independent, self -reliant and especially powerful. She had largely learned from her mother.

Trinity

Petri and Addy grew up with their mother. « A trinity, » said Addy. « We helped each other, and later we maintained each other. » From an early age, brother and sister were inseparable. Even now the wall hangs with Addy full of photos; of the many journeys they made together, in their Volkswagen camper, of the magazine Taste That they founded together and from the food festivals they organized together. But no matter how together they were, this time even Addy could not penetrate her.

Petri left for Portugal. It was Monique van Orden, good friend and former nurse, who finally pointed Addy to Petri’s decline: « In all her Whatsapps I felt: this is not going well. »

And now Addy stood there, in Portugal, opposite his sick sister. This time she allowed her to take her to the Netherlands, to the hospital. According to Addy, the oncologist was shocked « the number of metastases. Petri agreed with chemotherapy: 24 treatments in eight weeks.

As soon as she felt better, she went back to Portugal and everything started again. But all the laying of hands, pendules and supplements did not stop the cancer.

All hand layouts, pendules and supplements did not stop the cancer

The crazy thing about breast cancer, says girlfriend Monique, is that you don’t feel sick in the beginning. « You have to make yourself very sick, with chemo, to cure a disease that you don’t feel. That goes against everything. » She can know, she once had breast cancer herself. She did choose Chemo. « And although we followed other paths, our friendship remained close. »

Theater

Petri’s cancer was the elephant in the room. While Petri was in the hospital, she got a leaflet about how to deal with cancer. She had once written that herself. Monique, chuckling: « She had ended up in her own project. »

In spite of her own advice, there was no talk about her illness. Whoever started about it was resolutely interrupted by her.

The brother Addy did not really be able to say goodbye to her. « We have played theater all the time. Not only couldn’t talk about euthanasia, but were also not allowed to talk about things like the funeral or the inheritance. Because she did not die, she was recovering. She kept it up in the hospice. »

So when Petri died in January, 51 years old, there was little to fall back on – apart from a few ‘bullet points’ in Petri’s farewell letter. And so Addy partly came up with the funeral herself. She was laid out in his small living room for eleven days, and every day the kitchen table was packed with friends and acquaintances. On the day of the funeral there was a Volkswagen van-because Petri in such a gray hearse, that really wasn’t possible, he says. On the roof of the van lay, tied up, a briefcase, symbol for all her travels.

Her family and friends were left with many questions. « What if the first doctor had approached it differently, » lung doctor De Kanter asks. « What else should I have done, » says brother Addy. Girlfriend Monique: « I would love to have a conversation with her one more time. »

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