Mothers also have growth pains
The umbilical cord that unites the mother and the baby remains and becomes symbolically over time. In a shorter and stronger onset, representing the symbiosis between the mother and the baby, it stretches with time as the baby grows and develops.
Mothers assist the growth of their children, who always seems to them too fast. Throughout this process, all growth milestones leave mothers in a mix of feelings. On the one hand, they delight in seeing them grow, celebrate each new stage, on the other costs them. It costs them many times. And sometimes it costs them a lot. It costs him when their children enter the day care because they feel that they are no longer their own to become educators, friends, the world. Because they are already grown, because the separation at the entrance of the room is sometimes painful and watered with tears, because they are no longer babies to start being children. But it also costs them when they leave the daycare and go to the school of the growners, because they are no longer so small and will spend half the day sitting. Later, of course, it costs them when they leave the 1st cycle to join the 2nd, because they go to that huge school, where they will feel lost as sure. It is the confirmation that childhood is about to end and with it innocence, genuine games, the nearest relationship, the beginning of greater independence. In the 3rd cycle mothers know that they already have little voice in their children’s choices and decisions and when they receive a crooked response arouse a distant time when they had their tiny baby on their lap and the world went out around them. When they played together and all they did was the best thing in the world, when their presence was the most important of all.
Mothers suffer from growth pain, which are a process that does not develop in all the same way. Some feel them with greater intensity, some more tenuously. They are softer or nonexistent in those who live intensely the present and the future, who have a more filled and independent life of their children. And more intense in those who can’t resist looking back. They are as much more intense as dedication to their children made them forget about themselves.
It is healthy and expected to have a great involvement between the mother and the child. May this relationship at the beginning be symbiotic and then stay close, whole, well lived and watered. But, likewise, it is important for mothers to follow the growth of their children making their own ‘growth’. That they are not uncompromising with them, with their interests, with their projects, their lives, with family, friends, and with what surrounds them and concerns them. Let them not forget what they like, what they give them pleasure and that they stopped doing when their children still needed them a lot. The greater the distance with you, the more they are disincharged to take care of the role of mothers, the smaller the ability to meet and gather both worlds, the pride and joy that they will feel their children will hardly be free of a little point of pain, thin, lonely and silent.
As hard as it may seem, at one point mothers have to meet and rearrange themselves, so that they do not feel alone and lost when their children’s happiness and well-being not only dependent on them. So that your happiness also germinates from your own interests, your dreams, of what makes them realize. And so that both can maintain a narrow relationship, but grow and walk their path with autonomy and lightness.
