« Mom, why did you go to us for so long? » The story of Julia and Yurko Didul who adopted three guys – publications

Arthur with dad love to read each book, wrapped together in a warm plaid, and next to Bogdan and Nikita listen to his mother’s stories with delight.

Children like to walk in the park, engage in needlework, make designers, help cook, and most of all – play hide and seek.

For more than a year, Julia and Yurko Diduli became parents, and three boys found their closest people called « Mom » and « Dad ».

We tell their history.

“Similar to us”

Yulia and Yurko Diduli always wanted to have a big family. When biological children did not appear after the marriage, they decided to adopt.

« Our children name Arthur, Nikita and Bogdan. They are ten, almost four and almost three years respectively. For the first time we saw them in the photos and realized that they were very similar to us, » Yulia smiles.

The couple wanted to adopt several children, because many babies need family comfort, and it is much more interesting to grow with siblings.

« I immediately felt these children – ours. When we met, they were very easy to contact us. I really like to play football and always dreamed of a football team that would only consist of family members »– jokes Yurko.

At the same time, Julia did not feel a « magic click » that would have to occur at the time of meeting with children.

Julia Didula often conducts with Nikita and Bogdan. The first days when the children were at home were very rich in emotions and events

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

« We talked to our priest who explained that adoption is the acceptance of responsibility for children, and the feelings will come later. All that happened, » – Julia shares the memories.

After getting acquainted with the children, the couple began to collect the necessary documents and arrange the apartment for a new large family.

The grandparents turned to the hotline to get legal support in the adoption process. The couple was advised by lawyer Alim, who works within the joint project of the BF « Native » and UNICEF « Strengthening the ability of communities for the well -being of children. »

« I carried over five hundred sheets to court, and without professional accompaniment we would simply not handle– says Julia. – Alim helped gather the information we need, draw up documents and deprive us of unnecessary stress and unnecessary work. « 

Julia and Yurko received great support on the adoption path from his loved ones and from friends.

« A combination of a romantic vision of a family and its rational planning is important, – says Yurko Didula. – In addition to dreams of a perfect family and relationships in it, you need to equip rooms for children, put a crib, think about clothes and toys. « 

Friends and family gave the couple cots, car seats, books and many other necessary things. Julia says she has never spent so much time in the mail, picking up parcels.

« I was most supported by Yurko, only with him I was able to dare to such an adventure. The man is my greatest support, » Yulia explains.

Yulia reads Nikita and Bogdan their favorite books

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

« Will always be with us »

« Mom, why did you go to us for so long? » Yulia Nikita sometimes asks Julia.

The boy remembered that from their first meeting to the moment they were at home, it took several months. Initially, the grandparents took away the youngest Bogdanchik, who was in the orphanage and then went for the older boys Nikita and Arthur, who lived in a patronage family.

Julia Didul holds Bogdan’s youngest son

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

« For Bogdan, every woman who took care of him was – a tutor, a nurse, a doctor. Only now he clearly understands where his mother. For me still a miracle, how easily he agreed to be with us, immediately went to the pens, Yulia smiles. – Arthur in times remembers her biological mother, different events from her life. We answer all his questions, explaining that the circumstances are just that way. « 

Nikita often repeats that he lives with his mother and dad, asks whether they will not give it to anyone.

« We will never give anyone. Never, never, you will always be with us, » – Yulia and Yurko answer the questions of their children.

Most of all, Didul’s family loves to play hide -haired. Nikita smiles because he saw the youngest brother Bogdan

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

The first days when the children were at home were very rich in emotions and events. Julia and Yurko took vacations to devote to the children all the time.

« We first became parents, we first entered a new home, the final strokes of which the family prepared for us, Yurko recalls. – We showed the children their rooms and our common space. While Julia was sweet to the kids, I prepared everyone’s breakfast – cheeses. I love this dish very much and it was important for me to soak everything. Then we went to walk in the park and the time of active family construction began. « 

Nikita stands by the bed in the room and holds his favorite toy

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

From the very beginning, the boys behaved naturally, did not try to please or guess the expectations of adults.

The « so-called » flower-bouquet period « they did not have », Yulia shares.

Bogdan will soon turn three years old. He likes to play in hide and listen to his mother reads him books before bedtime

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

The children immediately became part of the house: the white walls quickly decorated with drawings, everyone found a favorite corner. Yulia and Yurko say that the boys from the first days were themselves, and this is the best signal of trust. It is the ordinary life of an ordinary family where everyone knows that he is loved and accepted as he is.

The family has many joint activities that have gradually turned into their special rituals and traditions. Prayer before the meal, when the whole family is taken by hands, playing hiding, reading books at bedtime, co -cooking, especially baking, and needlework – routine things that are part of a real family.

Yulia and Yurko say they work as one big team, helping each other in solving household issues. The grandparents decided to limit the children’s screen time so that they do not fall behind the gadgets, but develop more through communication, interaction and game.

The family spends a lot of time in books – Arthur reads a lot, and the younger ones like to listen to fairy tales and stories that parents read to them.

Julia Didul is playing with the youngest children – Bogdan and Nikita

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

« Children go to kindergarten and school, like to read, know how to capture themselves. We walk with them a lot and talk », «  Yulia says.

Parents try to develop the admiration of their children. Arthur is quite a busy schedule – he additionally engages in English, goes to Plast and for football training, and at school he enrolled on the choir.

Julia Didul holds the little Bogdanchik

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

« This year we had a tradition of walking together on a skating rink. We went to the mountains and I taught him skiing. He is a very skilled guy »– Yurko smiles.

The family also has experience in joint travel.

« On the road I have a million games and entertainment, a long stop on which we play football, Yulia says. – We spend a lot of time in joint walks in the park, sometimes we just go to take a walk in the woods. Children like to spend time in nature – they have a bunch of energy. « 

Nikiti is almost four years old. The boy likes to play with cars, designers and hide

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

“We are mom and dad”

Before adoption, Julia read all the literature possible and existing in the Ukrainian market and listened to many podcasts about family forms of education.

« When I hear other people’s stories about adoption, it reduces my anxiety. Everyone who wants to take children in the family, I would advise you to be interested – says Julia Didul. – It is important to realize that it will be difficult. The children were injured in their lives, and this is not their fault. If you do not cope, you need to knock on the door of specialists or call a hot line. You need to be open to change, learn and, most importantly, see little victories. « 

Yurko Didula is playing with three sons – Arthur, Nikita and Bogdan

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

Yurko compares the adoption of children with the choice of a partner in life, because children and relationships are forever. It adds that children adapt very quickly and develop their attachment to new parents. Now they have three children with Yulia.

« The main thing is not to be afraid. I communicate with people who have biological children, and our parenting experience is little different: identical problems, crisis and joy. Even Arthur, who is ten years old, began to call us « mom » and « dad » with great joy.

He often says he is happy that he has a family and that we are together. His words make the meaning of our decision and our life, – Yurko Didula shares. – Even with Yulia we began to think about adopting or taking care of someone else. We see this great meaning. For us and for them. The way their lives in the family change is a great incentive to adopt. « 

Julia and Yurko are believed that if children have a mom with dad, as well as siblings – it will give them a chance to be in a environment of heat and love, in which, in fact, all children should grow.

Yurko Didul communicates with his younger sons – Nikita and Bogdan

Photo: Veronica Yevtushenko

Kateryna Moskalyukespecially for UP. Life