Laundry detergent? Great! But these are also very good gifts for Mother’s Day!

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. A while ago Kruidvat came with an offer for detergent. ‘Mother’s day hints’ was there, haha. A hint indeed! Nothing as annoying as a mother who does not wash the full laundry basket quickly enough. Very good that Kruidvat once pays attention for that, good timing too, with Mother’s Day.

Well, what do you think? I was really the only one who thought this. Because then the pleuris broke out. Huge fuss! Everyone angry. That the advertising women stereotype. That the 1950s had called to reclaim their Mother’s Day gifts. All women buckling. I really didn’t understand.

Because of course women do the laundry in the Netherlands, who else? The men? Hahaha, really not. The only time a man in my household did the laundry, the whole drum pink came back because he had added a red sock.

Men cannot, dude – put the dishwasher into it, clean the pit of the shower, change diapers, stop. Their men’s hands are too big for that, and too rough. And their muscles too big.

Men are there to earn the money. And when they come home tired after a long day of sloven, the mother must be ready with slippers, a friendly smile and a glass of whiskey. And his shirts must lie fresh in the cupboard.

As far as I am concerned, Mother’s Day gifts cannot be stigmatizing enough. Very good too for the children, to get clear again what place the woman has in the family! Nature and evolution and so on – Hello!

In that line, I came up with many more beautiful Mother’s Day gifts. I just listed them. Speaking of hints. Greetings to mother the woman next Sunday!

1 a course ‘Don’t forget yourself’. For all those moments when the children have to be brought to sports, grandpa and grandma need help and Dad is ‘just offline’.

2 A scented candle with the name ‘Burn-Out-Lavendel’. He calms down at night when Mama has to finish the work of work for a while that was lying during the day because she had to take care of dad and the children who are fever in bed.

3 A ‘We are so proud of your’ work tile. Anonymous delivered and of course without storage or promotion.

4 An engraved peeper with ‘you are indispensable’. So that Mama also remains available for work, children and the group app from school during breaks (which breaks). About who bakes the cake for the summer party, who makes the ‘spring nodula’ for the classroom, and can rise in the lice fluff next week.

5 A Beautybox with the text on it: « You’re getting older Mama! » With figure -correcting slip, concealer for deep patriarchal fatigue, a foundation that makes even more invisible in the workplace, waterproof mascara against tears in traffic jams, and ozempic.

6 and a botox treatment, of course! Because the male colleagues have looked a bit ‘tired’ lately.

7 A office chair with wheels. So that Mama can seamlessly switch from home to the kitchen between Zoom and grate courgettes.

8 alcohol, lots of alcohol. It takes a vineyard to raise a child.

9 A self -clever ashtray. So that Mama can start smoking again.

10 The ‘Sorry I Besta’ gift voucher. To cash with a lifecoach who still lives with his mother, and Mama explains how she herself is the source of all the stress in her life.

11 a box with ‘pampering moments’. A box of guilt. A brick to throw against the wall. A stress ball in the form of the head of Mama’s manager (Peter or Paul). And a cookie. One cookie.

11 An automatic apologies generator. Who automatically spit sentences at every border that Mama sets like: « Sorry, I didn’t mean it silly. » « No dude, I want to tap that mail quickly. » And: « Sure, I had nothing to do this Saturday. »

12 a big box. In which Mama can sit crying.

13 But the best idea? That is of course giving gifts to Dad on Mother’s Day! A new expensive racing bike. An engine. A thick barbecue. Because the biggest gift for a mother is a happy father.

14 or wait! Forget number 13. Form up Mother’s Day! And make an extra father’s day instead! So that all fathers in addition to their weekly Papadag can feel even an extra day in the year father. Nice eh.

I have goosebumps!

Do you have a question of the week, taboo, or ‘issue’ for this section? Then mail to [email protected]

To share

Mail the editors