Ine and Marie overcome anorexia together and now expect their first child: « Everyone thought it was a terrible idea, falling in love with someone with the same disease » (Ranst)

Pastaloversays a poster on the wall. And on that next to it: The Wine and Cheese Club. Everything shouts ‘cozy’ and ‘cozy’ in the house of Marie Vermeylen and Ine Gabriëls, hidden in the timid green of Broechem. « Pasta is my favorite food, » says Marie. « With cheese, a lot of cheese. » Her hand rests on the lap of her ‘Ineke’ and will not give way a second. « In recording we ate spaghetti every Thursday. The rest thought that was terrible, but I secretly looked forward to it. I left my breakfast in front of it. And I always thought it was bad that I only had one bag of cheese. »

Those who don’t know them only see two beautiful women at their beautiful dining table. Both 26, both madly in love. Marie is the flapuit – « a bulldozer, » she says. Ine is quieter, more thoughtful. The perfect tandem, which adds a high chair in October: Marie is four months pregnant. « Thanks to a foreign donor. It took a few attempts, but I really wanted to be mommy. With Ine. » The ultrasound is framed on the table, with a babysoker. And also a book. Black cover, the title in white cleaning: Dear Ineke. A love letter, it seems, and it is somewhere. But in the story of Ine and Marie there is just as much black as white.

« The anorexia clinic, that is the Olympic Games of as little as possible. You keep an eye on each other, look at who eats what. No easy environment to heal »

Marie Vermeylen

The place where it was Spaghetti evening every Thursday is the eating disorder department of the hospital in Leuven. Not the setting where romances often open. Both were 15 when they got Anorexia. As a child, Ine was always « small » and « timid ». At home there was a lot of fights, and after the divorce of her parents she slid away in her illness. Marie was a spring-in-field, experienced the world very intensely, but was bullied. At a party she was raped after someone might have put something in her drink. « That worked like a flame for everything that was not completely right in me. »

Sweet child

Ine went to recording in September 2017. Marie signed up in March 2018. « I no longer know how I met the other girls there, » says Ine. « But the first time I saw Marie, I remember crystal clear. I thought, » Wow, such a beautiful natural black hair.  » It turned out that she had painted it.  » (laughs)

« It was lunch, » says Marie. « I got there and immediately got a plate with minced meat for me. While I am a vegetarian. Hell, that was. There was one more place free at that huge table, next to Ine. She had long curls. I looked at her just when she wanted to take a bite. She stopped, and laughed. What a sweet child, I thought. »

Although it clicked, there was no question of love at first sight. The disease still dominated everything. « That clinic, that is the Olympic Games of as little as possible. A eating disorder is something competitive. You keep an eye on each other, look at who eats what. No easy environment to heal. We both didn’t know that we fell on girls. But at Ine I felt peace. »

« Five years ago the house was on fire, so to speak. Now I am genuinely happy. Although I absolutely do not recommend our course. It is a miracle that we have touched here”

Ine Gabriëls

When they left the clinic a few months later, there was just contact. Until that suddenly stopped. « I was not the nicest person at that time, » says Ine. « I had sent something very common to Marie. It was the disease that spoke, but after that it fell silent. Or mostly. »

When the disease was silent, Ine sought rapprochement again, via an anonymous online profile. Thinking that she chatted with a German girl, Marie ventilated about her girlfriend’s hurtful remark. « That gave comfort. Sure I was shocked when Ine later confessed that it was. But on the other hand I think it’s beautiful. How she was already so hard with me then. She was sorry. »

First kiss

In the meantime, they found other partners. Marie first went with a boy, then with a girl. Both relationships went turbulent. Ine left with her then girlfriend for a year on a world trip, but was confronted with partner violence. In New Zealand her thoughts went to Marie again. Via phone she picked up the thread. Even though they struggled with old habits, together they found bright spots. « We even got up earlier and went to sleep later, to send messages. »

Back in Belgium, Ine and Marie immediately agreed. « I jumped in the car and drove to her, » says Marie. “I saw two narrow there kiekpoten Under a skirt. I thought, « There she is. » (laughs) I knew Ine wasn’t okay, but when we were together, the disease wasn’t there. We started picnicking that day at the abbey, bloody nervous. We had taken fruit and did our best to eat all the grapes. Simply so that the others ate. We have always eaten together. Counting, counting … That stopped when we were two. « 

They agreed a few more times. Went to eat fries. Laughed and cried together. They both put an end to their relationships, and not much later the first kiss followed. « If you can call it that. Ine had a weak smile all the time, so I mainly kissed her teeth. » Not everyone in their area saw it briefly rosy. “Certainly not our parents. Falling in love with someone with the same disease? Terrible idea. But for us it felt great rebellious. We understood each other, it was we against the world. Although we now know that we are at the Lucky Few are. »

During a trip to the sea, in June 2020, they had their first real kiss. Two days later Ine was mandatory. Despite the pink cloud, the thunderstorm in her head grabbed together. Weeks later, Marie was also treated again, in day therapy. After the death of her grandmother, Marie gathered all the courage and opted for recovery. At Ine it went more difficult.

« Every night I drove to Ine, but it was no longer she. The disease had taken it over. Once she had thrown her sandwiches in the toilet, and not even extended to hide it. She was so far away. »

Normal life

Nine months far in her treatment, in April 2021, Ine tried to get out of life. Marie felt it coming. « That evening I asked the nurse not to check every hour, but every half hour ines room. That saved her life. The next day in the emergency department I saw that something had changed. It was ine again. Then I said to myself: she comes here, then we get married. And look back in the summer. »

A month after Ine was discharged from psychiatry, Marie asked her to marry. At a dream place, just before the Duomo of Firenze. “Three months after we became a couple, I had already started saving money for an engagement ring. I was not going to do it during that trip, but in a shop I suddenly saw the ring. A sign, I thought. I first asked her mum for permission, and on our last evening in Firenze I went on one knee. (laughs)

In Romcoms the credits is starting there. But for Marie and Ine it really started. They started living together, looked for work, and tried to build a life as normal as possible – in addition to their fixed agreements with the psychologist and dietician.

“We have always eaten together. Counting, counting … That stopped when we were two of us”

Marie Vermeylen

« We had to learn what that is exactly, a household, and at the same time keep ourselves up. Because that little voice in your head never goes away. If you get in the shower with two and can count an extra rib with the other, for example. That is dangerous. But on the other hand you recognize signals together. That makes us just stronger. »

“One evening at the same time we had a kind of panic attack at home, and felt like we were stuck. But then we just went to cafe with friends, do silly, do it, efkes Being young. That was a confirmation: what kind of shit they throw at us, we will always get through. With cracks, yes, but it will work. « 

Why wait?

In the summer of 2023, Ine and Marie married, both in the long and white. The party was one of abundance: lots of people, a lot of food. « I even thought there was too little food, » laughs Marie. A year later she asked one of the bridesmaids, Sophie van Reeth, a year later to make a book, as a gift for Ine. The writer decided to incorporate their entire process.

« It is strange to see your name on a book, » says Ine. « But I stepped in with the idea that such a book could have helped me at the time. When I compare with five years ago, I no longer recognize my life. Then the house was on fire, so to speak. Now I am genuinely happy. We have our own house, beautiful jobs, families who like to see us, and in October there is a little one. Although I am a wonder of it.”

« You can say that we went very quickly in our relationship, » says Marie. “But I have seen Ine of her most beautiful side, and her ugliest. And vice versa. If you can handle that, why still wait? My parents say we’ve already experienced more than some couples in 25 years. And when we are mums, we take everything in the upbringing of our child. I knowbut I really believe that I have been born for Ine, and Ine for me. ”

Anyone who has questions about suicide can go to the suicide line on the free number 1813 and on the website www.zelfmoord1813.be. If you have other questions or needs a conversation, you can contact Teleonthal on the number 106 or via the website www.tele-onthaal.be.

‘Dearest Ineke’, written by Sophie van Reeth, has appeared at Manteau. 256 pages. 23.5 euros.