How to survive 5 stages of grief after breaking the relationship

From objection to acceptance: what to know about 5 stages of grief after a break in relationship

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The end of the relationship may seem to the end of the world. Even the partner who initiated the gap can experience grief. And not in vain: after a break for some people may be similar to those that occur after the death of a loved one.

Understanding the stages of grief after the break helps to understand your own emotions better and understand that they are normal and natural.

What you need to know about this period and how it is easier to live – a clinical psychologist, Doctor of Psychology Adam Borland told Cleveland Clinic.

5 stages of grief after breaking the relationship

The gap is the completion of an important section of your life. And any loss-death, release, moving-can be accompanied by burning. And there is no clear term, how much it will last.

1. The objection

You can feel shock immediately after the break. This can be accompanied by physical symptoms: headache, palpitations, sleep problems.

« Can a feeling of shock or distrust: ‘is it really? Is it really going on?' » « 

Maybe you will believe that the partner will come back and everything can be restored – that it is not forever « , Says Borland.

This stage can accompany the following emotions:

• fear;
• perplexity;
• solitude;
• anxiety.

Your plans and goals are uncertain – and it is anxiety. You can doubt yourself, in your value, to be afraid of the future alone or not to believe that you will ever find love.

2. Anger (and other negative emotions)

« This stage is an expression of intense negative emotions to a former partner, » – explains Borland.

At this time you can:merge; feel the image, frustration, irritation or frustration; to questioned the reasons for the rupture.

The circumstances of the break (such as betrayal) can only intensify these emotions.

3. Auction

« At this stage there is a pity and attempts to rethink the situation. You can think: ‘If I just did/did otherwise … » Says Borland.

You can:

• regret your actions;
• try to change to return the partner;
• reflect on « if ».

This stage is particularly deep, if your actions have led to a break.

4. Depressive state

« The former partner was not only a loved one, but also a friend, a trusted person, those with whom you laughed the most. And now you have to move further without him », « , » – Borland shares.

At this stage, you may have symptoms typical of depression, in particular:sadness, hopelessness, irritability; loss of motivation; sleep disorders and appetite.

5. Acceptance

« And every finish is essentially a start », – says in Lina Kostenko’s poem.

You may never be comfortable with this loss, but over time you will accept it and focus on yourself.

« At this stages you can still regret that the relationship has not developed, but you already accept it and seek to live fully », – says Borland.

This stage involves:

• concern for yourself – physical and emotional;
• appeal to friends, family;
• Classes with favorite things;
• Work with a psychotherapist.

Is it possible to worry several stages at a time?

The doctor says so, because grief is not linear. Stages can happen in different ways, repeat or impose on each other. You can think that you have already survived, but then immersed in old emotions again.

« The feeling of sadness can come back even when it seems that you have already accepted everything. So it happens because there was a lot of good in the relationship, » – explains Borland.

Why should you live grief through a gap

« Burning is a natural process after any loss. It helps the brain adapt to a new reality, » – the psychologist emphasizes.

Ignoring this process can lead to a constant feeling:

• sadness;
• loneliness;
• guilt;
• shame;
• anger.

If you do not give advice to these emotions, it can lead to:

• low self -esteem;
• isolation;
• depression;
• unhealthy ways of overcoming (alcohol, drugs, etc.).

« The grief of grief after a break helps to release intense emotions and to be emotionally accessible in new relationships, » – adds Borland.

And most importantly: if you are difficult to cope with this condition yourself – seek help from a mental health specialist. The gaps are painful, but recognizing your feelings is an important step towards healing.

Earlier we toldHow to overcome the couple and maintain relationships when they are tired of a partner.