‘Fortunately, my uncertainty is now less’

‘At the age of 22 I supervised premature school leavers during my study Psychology in Utrecht. At the end of the internship I received a book from my supervisor: The silence of Maria Zachea. I immediately recognized the name of the author. A few years before, I was introduced to Judith Koelemeijer when they are for de Volkskrant A report wrote about vaccination willingness in the Bible Belt.

« I grew reformedly and after a church service in Rhenen was talking to my husband – then my dating – when Judith appealed to us for her story. She asked sharp, but respectful questions. Later she even came to visit my husband’s family to continue talking. When I got her book a few years later I started reading it immediately.

“The silence of Maria Zacea Is about an old mother who no longer speaks with her twelve children after a brain haemorrhage. The book is based on interviews that Judith held with her uncles, aunts and with her father. She saw how her grandmother still spoke with the nursing, but hardly with her own children. Why does grandma say nothing?

« The twelve children tell Judith how they have experienced the upbringing. Although the family grows up in a Catholic environment, I recognized the strict rules of my own reformational education. When I first read the book, I was still looking for myself, for my identity. I had a low self -image, stood with one leg in one leg in the reformational with the other with the other with the other with the other with the other with the other with the other with the reformational with the other in the reformational with the other in the reformational with the other with the reformational. loyalty conflict.

« Because of that uncertainty, I often read books with the question: what can I do for myself here? I was really looking for who I was. I was fascinated by Lucie, one of the children. I thought: how I could be like she? I found her such a free personality. Herrezing learns that I am now much less busy with a few people reading. I read the book. I read the book.

« Instead, in the book I now see many similarities with the clients in my practice as a relationship therapist. Very recognizable is a character such as Maarten. He loses his brother Jos to whom he was very attached and wonders who he is without his brother. I recognize that identity issue at mourning. I would like to know how to eliminate that family.

« Before I first read the book at the time, I saw my husband’s family completely as the perfect picture. While reading, I recognized a lot of the complicated family dynamics. That made me more aware of the value of my own family: also believers, but with a lot of room to develop your own opinion. I knew at that time only my own family. In addition to the relationship therapist of today. ”

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