Everybody works them: these are mistakes in sex that destroy the pleasure
Selfishness in bed may not be a criminal offense, but for many it is a serious transgression in partner intimacy. Focusing only to your own satisfaction can cause a great frustration. This is most often manifested when a person prioritizes his or her orgasm and completely neglects his partner’s needs do not always do so intentionally, especially in moments of excitement and rapture. Still, there is a solution for this problem.
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Sexologist and sex therapist, Jenni Skyler reveals what are the most common mistakes that result from this selfishness and what problems from this arise.
1. Foreplay? What is it?
Although speed sex is practical and can be passionate and exciting, he could also be a sign that your partner lacks interest in an intimate relationship as such. Enjoying foreplay often involves attention to a partner and a desire for shared experience, while its constant omission can indicate a focus exclusively to its own satisfaction.
« If your partner neglects your wishes and does not ask you what you are pleasing, but only follows your own pace and preferences, it is a clear signal of sexual selfishness, » Skyler explained sex therapist.
The solution to this problem lies in an open conversation. Ask yourself, why ignore your needs and why is he constantly in a hurry? Clear and sincere communication is the key to balance in bed.
2. Resistance to feedback
In addition to lack of foreplay, a clear indicator of selfishness in sex is when a partner does not want to accept your remarks and feedback you give him after sex. This information is extremely important for the purpose of improvement of joint experience, and it will be difficult to reach if your partner responds to your remarks defense and even angry.
– Such behavior often stems from insecurity, but for the other side it may seem like a pure neglect of the needs of a partner – Skyler points out.
If you are that person who is hard to accept suggestions, stop and think about why you are bothered. Do not necessarily consider feedback as criticism, but as a tool for improving intimate relationship.
3. Prioritizing your own desires and neglecting partner’s
While some are naturally more prone to experimenting, a healthy sexual intercourse is based on a mutual exchange and understanding. If a partner always forces what suits him and does not respect your wishes or boundaries, there is an imbalance and major problems in the relationship.
Instead of closing toward new experiences, try to get out of your own comfort zone. Open conversations about desires, with willingness to adapt, can often lead to mutual satisfaction. If you are a person who neglects the partner’s needs, it is time for introspective and working together on a better sexual intercourse.
4. Looking at sex as a right of a relationship, not an agreement
Selfishness in sex is often manifested by the attitude that the partner is ‘obliged’ to meet the needs of the other side, regardless of his own mood. This kind of thinking turns sex into a one -sided exchange and turns intimacy into an obligation. Selfishness can also be manifested in the absence of an initiative, when one side gives up sexual closeness without explanation or effort to find a solution.
The key to good sex lies in balance. Sex is not compulsion and obligation, but an agreement between two people who respect each other and their needs. Working on intimacy, conversations without shame and willingness to compromise are the basis of a healthy and satisfactory sex life.
« If you suspect that a partner is the one who does not reciprocate with the same measure, it is important to notice it and talk about it without delay, » Jenni concluded.
