As a enemy to turn a friend: stress management techniques

About how to deliberately take care of your inner state and regain your inner balance, how to boldly start life changes, to believe in yourself, your dreams and inner power, says Certified Coaching Specialist (ICF) Raminta Skardinskaitė.

Change coach, international lecturer, cognitive behavioral therapy consultant R. Skardinskaitė, pseudonym sunshine, traveling the world and sharing experiences with international and local communities. It contributes a lot to the support of the world’s Lithuanian emotional health by consulting ours and creating a project « Lithuanians of the World ». The specialist has been working in the field of personal development and psychology for a decade.

– How does your work contribute to people’s emotional well -being?

– My mission is to inspire people deeper, other angles, look at themselves and events in their lives, take responsibility for what life they live and choose, to enable them to change. I share my insights, knowledge and tools for every day so that a person knows how to improve life and have sufficient resources (knowledge, motivation, energy). I encourage people to take care of themselves, think positively, see their talents and unfold in their most beautiful light, to pursue their dreams.

Motivation: R. Skardinskaitė inspires many people to take on life changes in her professional activity and personal transformation trip. / Photo by K. Polubinska

– What are the most common mistakes people make by trying to fight stress?

– blame the environment. This is how they deplete a lot of energy, drowning in negativity. This causes a sense of helplessness and does not change the situation, because until we take responsibility and we do not want to see our contribution, nothing will change. What to do? Take responsibility and think: What can I do to be, how do I want? Then action must be taken to achieve this.

Moving responsibility to others is the abandonment of one’s power and usually does not bring change – after all, we cannot control others. In addition, when we talk about others, to be angry, to blame, we send our energy and thoughts to others, we were wasting it. We feed on negativity that does not make a positive change. Where we focus on, increases. Our choice: whether to feed positivity and constructiveness or negativity. Anger is a normal thing, for example, when someone does wrong with us. Anger shows that the boundaries are crossed. However, we can choose what to do with this: just to say and feel a victim or take a specific action, such as getting out of the situation, expressing your position out loud.

It is important to understand that stress itself is not a bad thing, so instead of fighting it, you should make friends with it. Stress is just a signal about what happens within us and in the environment. Our choice is what we will do: whether we will relieve it with food, social networks, various addictions, or use constructively: we will look for information on how to help ourselves, improve physical and emotional state, accumulate strength for positive life changes, realizing that relief will not solve the essence.

It is just important to look for deep causes of stress. Do I objectively evaluate the situation? Is the situation really threatened, or do I dramatize? What do I need to change: myself, attitudes, situation? If I can’t change the situation, I don’t want to change myself or my attitude, maybe it is best to leave it? Maybe I’m just a very sensitive, anxious person and I need to learn how to manage stress? Perhaps everyone would have stress under such working conditions or in life? Try to look at the situation rationally and objectively alongside all the emotions you experience.

Man is not a light bulb that you will easily replace. It is important to stop and understand what is happening. Then you need to take action, not wait to get worse.

– What simple but effective methods would you recommend for those who want to reduce daily stress?

– Start the day without dumb. Get up earlier if necessary. And to complete it calmly, spending time in reassuring yourself and your nervous system (it is best to disconnect from screens, time for a quiet exercise, book). By creating a morning and evening routine, rituals, you will learn how to switch your body quickly to the desired regime, which will provide clarity, safety, even in the changing circumstances of life.

Be sure to take time for self -reflection, to deal with questions, to assess emotions. You can do this by writing a blog, meditating or walking for a walk. During the day, give you space for thoughts and feelings to prevent them from falling in the middle of the night, because you didn’t have time at other times.

Create rest breaks, stop. It is always possible to discover at least 5 or 10 minutes and do nothing, for example, looking out the window, drinking coffee without a phone or lying down. We have to learn how to stop constantly and run, which is in itself stress. We deplete a lot of energy in a hurry and are not productive.

IMPORTANT: We need to stop constantly in a hurry and learn how to create rest breaks – you can always discover at least 5 or 10 minutes to do nothing. / Photo by Freepik.com

– Does energy management mean only physical activity and recreation, or does it include psychological aspects?

– Psychological aspects are very important – our energy is often pumped by toxic people, negative information, our certain constant thoughts, fear, strong emotions. Of course, physical activity and rest not only help to restore energy, but also feel better and psychologically. It is important to understand that all our systems are related and work – physical sensations (our body status) affect emotions, thinking, behavior and vice versa. Consequently, we can also raise energy by taking care of the body, learning how to deal with emotions, working with thinking and beliefs, changing habits and actions.

– How important is the rhythm of the day, sleep, nutrition? How to integrate it into a busy life?

– To take care of the body is necessary, otherwise we will collapse and then there will be no benefit to our environment, workplace or for ourselves. We can function for a while for a while, eating anything, but we will work as if using a reserve battery that will not keep it for a long time. Then the physical, emotional, financial consequences will occur. If we do not integrate the rhythm of the day, normal sleep and normal nutrition in the busy life, we risk burning and losing the feeling that we really live, not just exist.

You have to decide that this is important to you and do it with a priority. After all, being rested and healthy, you are more productive and happier. However, you can only choose and look for ways to deal with these aspects. What can I change to do to improve sleep, nutrition? Start with small changes. However, if I do not believe it is important, no one will force or prove it. The most important thing here is personal responsibility. After all, we all know that it is important to be healthy, but not all of us want to make appropriate choices. Some are looking at the convenience and pleasure of the present, while others are thinking about long -term changes and effects (how I feel physically and emotionally after a few years).

– Are there habits that especially help to regain energy – even if we have only 5 minutes?

– Transition from head to heart, body, connection with here and now a moment when we do not think about the past or the future. Meditation, breathing exercises help to connect with the body, the present moment. Nature (fresh air, barefoot walking), water (lake, sea or shower) helps to overload energy. If we focus on something nice, fun (cooking, games, etc.), it also helps to recover.

Make a list of who charges your energy, who discharges and constantly fills it. Very soon it becomes clear what can help you and what to avoid better. This is especially useful when waiting, for example, an important day. For example, I know I will need a lot of energy to deliver work, so today I will avoid social networks and will not communicate with that person, I will go out of energy into the forest and read something positive before delivery, because I know it will help me feel better.

– What advice would you give someone who is currently feeling completely burned out?

– Give yourself space for rest. Not tomorrow or next month – now, today. Then you need to decide how to keep in place, what actions to take. Whether what’s happening is to share with loved ones, seek help from professionals, or to spend more time rest or plan more serious lifestyle changes. Man is not a light bulb that is easy to replace. It is important to stop and understand what is happening. Then you need to take action, not wait to get worse. After all, we usually only understand that something is wrong when we are already crossing a healthy line, because we have just ignored all the signals before.

– If you could only give everyone a one measure to manage stress, what would it be?

– Demand, in other words, feel in your body, feel what’s going on in it, and get upset if needed. Feel that you are breathing and look around: What do you see, hear, smell? What is happening here and now? Most of the time you just have to give yourself permission to stop and when we really stop, we feel that everything is fine. Life is happening, problems – solve and everything will pass. Until we pass, let’s stay here and now, let’s not miss life.

There will be challenges all the time. That is what we live to grow and gain new experiences. But let’s not forget to enjoy that trip every day, every moment. Even if it is uncomfortable or difficult, especially if it is uncomfortable and difficult. This will strengthen our emotionally, spiritually and feel the feeling of the wave. After all, life is a movement, flow, change, constant growth.

– How do you care about your emotional health and energy balance?

– Every day I pay attention to all my systems – to take care of the physical body (nutrition, sleep, movement), feed the mind (learn something), gain a spiritual pen (create, meditate, interest), take care of emotional hygiene (I write a blog, create positive experiences). Every day, I ask myself how I feel and what the need arises at the moment. I allow myself to change the day’s plans if I feel that I am tired. If I feel uncomfortable in a particular environment, such as a noisy cafe or at the supermarket, I can’t concentrate, a lot of people are suffering from a lot of people, I change the space.

I try to choose what I want is more often than what I need. I have learned to make love for myself and compassion to prioritize, and I use discipline and will as help to implement what is important. I observe my rhythm to whom I have some energy. If you don’t go out now, maybe I have energy for a walk? If you don’t go to work now, maybe I want to play sports? I try to give up the idea that everything must be perfect or go according to plan. This allows you to relax and less worry about failures.

Sleep, even 15 minutes of day, helps me recover; Being in space without people (best recovery in solitude), walks in nature, shower. Very simple things. Self -discipline and curiosity, the desire to grow and improve our state are particularly helpful, so emotional health and energy management become no longer a separate task or professional activity, but of lifestyle.

Every day I learn to love life more and more and try to be more grateful than everything I experience, I have, get, learn. It helps to remain positive and to have hope in any life circumstances.